For those of you who love Jane Austen, I have found my Mr. Darcy (at least as he’s presented the first half of the book. For those of you who haven’t read Pride & Prejudice (or seen the movie), Mr. Darcy is the BOMB. He is the MAN of the early 19th century. Almost two centuries later, women still swoon when they think of having their paths cross with a real life, dreamy Mr. Darcy.
In Pride and Prejudice, Darcy is moneyed; cultured; dark, tall and handsome; provides stimulating (if not almost always abrupt) conversation, is rather lacking in common politeness, and does his best to stay away from promptings of what he fears to be a foolish heart.
In those final exhilarating pages of the book, the reader finally understands that Mr. Darcy’s inner struggle has been with a heart so deeply capable of love and passion it’s staggering. He is in love with his darling beyond words, beyond reason, beyond that common love that so many believe is the real thing. He loves her completely – for her mind, body and soul; and his love is so overpowering he cannot begin to act rationally – he confesses his love and proposes, in the rain no less!
So, recently, I met the most lovely creature. Unbelievably handsome, a fellow baseball fan, smart, sensitive, a great listener and, it’s hard to describe, but his character and personality were just perfection. I felt completely safe with him and was attracted to him like a magnet, but objectively I don’t think he would be considered charismatic.
When our paths crossed, as they did frequently (sometimes due to some choreography on my part!), I of course wanted to look stunning. I wanted to turn his head and have him see me as a woman, not just a friend
I knew the quickest way make his head turn would be to raise my hem line, leave a few more buttons on the top of my buttoned down shirt open… you know really show myself off.
I decided against this and went about my days and weeks cute but without compromising my standards.
Nothing happened. Wait a second, I’m being virtuous, a good girl in my choice of dress and I’m not being showered with blessings (i.e. Mr. Darcy)?
My thoughts crept back to how easy it would be to turn his head by dressing more provocatively. With all transparency, I played the idea back in forth in my head more than I ought.
As my ideas and emotions pinged back and forth like so many tennis balls, I realized more and more that being provocative would work.
As l realized this, though, I knew I wouldn’t want things to start any relationship with only inflamed sexual passion as the main motivator. Yes, of course, I want my future husband to find me beautiful and be attracted to me, but I want so much more! I want to be a Mrs. Darcy someday. I want to be loved for my loyalty, bravery, deep love of others and everything else good that makes me me!
So my Mr. Would Be Darcy, I adore you, but I respect myself more than attract you at any price. And, if you really are Mr. Darcy, I know you would respect that deeply in me. Until then, my true Mr. Darcy, I stay patiently and virtuously yours.